Example letters/messages to encourage conflict-party to use mediation

List of draft message texts

Select from this list, then scroll down.

To send yourself: select from first list, copy, paste, edit and send to your conflict-party.

If you want The Mediator to send, select from second list and write to action@themediator.co.uk  with conflict-party details for us to send.

For use by you:

1. Dispute about business or anything else except divorce/separation: informal relationship in the past.

2. Dispute about business or anything else except divorce/separation: business relationship broken apart only by Covid-19.

3. Dispute about business or anything else except divorce/separation: past relationship was sound but not personal.

4. Divorce, separation or comparable relationship: any circumstances.

For use by the mediator on your instructions

5. Dispute about business or anything else except divorce/separation: from The Mediator to conflict-party.

6. Dispute about business or anything else except divorce/separation: from The Mediator to conflict-party’s solicitor.

7. Divorce, separation: from The Mediator to conflict-party.

8. Divorce, separation: from The Mediator to conflict-party’s solicitor.


Message 01

Dispute about business or anything else except divorce/separation: informal relationship in the past.


Heading: Proposal to refer our dispute to mediation

Dear / Hello [appropriate name]

We believe that we should refer our dispute to a mediator with a view to our finding mutually acceptable terms to wind it up. I do not propose to make a big deal out of this. I have simply been undertaking some research and it seems to me to be the best way forward.

To be blunt, I have also discovered that if we were to take it to court and one of us had refused mediation, then it is likely that the judge would still order costs against that refusing party even if it won the case. That seems to me to make it a no-brainer to try mediation.

There is a mediator named Andrew Taylor with a website that provides a load of basic information at https://www.themediator.co.uk/business-mediation/advantages.

I’ve spoken to this guy very briefly on the phone about the mediation process. You can ring him on (07907) 964565. He says he works long hours so we can try calling at any time.

It seems that we can set up a mediation meeting with Andrew Taylor within days and reach an agreement which would enable us to put it all behind us once and for all.

Please let me know how you feel about this route, within seven days. I would really like to get everything settled up and out of the way. If you’re not up for it then I’m going to my solicitor. I just feel you’re taking me for a ride.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely,


Message 02

Dispute about business or anything else except divorce/separation: business relationship broken apart only by Covid


Heading: Proposal to refer our dispute to mediation

Dear / Hello [appropriate name]

We are both well aware that a difficult situation has arisen. We have taken very simple legal advice. It seems that no one is quite sure how things will work out when contracts are inevitably broken. There is no doubt that we shall have to decide how to rearrange our relationship.

I/my company/my colleagues have been considering our contractual relationships with many of our providers/customers, as these have been affected by the recent pandemic.

It seems that the legal position is unclear. In any event the legal process has been drastically interrupted. To continue in business we need to adopt a different business model, not just for trading today but with sufficient flexibility to manage our business profitably in the medium term.

Unfortunately, we may have to terminate our trading relationships with some/many of our suppliers/customers. As a starting point for our rearrangements, we need to clarify current disputes the – whether they relate to payment or anything else.

We have been talking to you on and off for some months now but seem to be no nearer to reaching agreement. That’s the context in which I’m now writing to suggest that we take our present disagreement to a mediator to help us to unravel the best outcome for both of us.

We have decided that our first step in resolving disputes, including with you, should be to engage the services of a business mediator. We understand that you have your own problems, but frankly so does every business. We are not in a position to offer sympathy or make concessions based on anything but a commercial view.

Step

If you want to find out more about mediation, I have found a lot of explanation at a particular website. Try starting at https://www.themediator.co.uk/business-mediation/advantages . They also have an interesting page covering current circumstances at https://www.themediator.co.uk/online-mediation/covid-contract-disaster.

The mediator here is Andrew Taylor. I’ve spoken to him very briefly on the phone. You can do the same. He is on (07907) 964565, but may not be available 24/7. To save your time looking, you could also ask for information by email - andrewrt@themediator.co.uk .

By all means suggest your own choice of mediator but please don’t ask me to approve of some guy recommended by your solicitor.

Please reply to this proposal within the next seven days. We are very happy to consider an ongoing relationship but we need to move forward now and we need to discuss realistic options as to how to settle our differences right now.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely,


Message 03

Dispute about business or anything else except divorce/separation: past relationship was sound but not personal.

Use according to appropriate relationship and in the event that court proceedings are underway.


Heading: Proposal to refer our dispute to mediation

Dear / Hello [appropriate name]

This is an open letter proposing that the dispute between us (, as described below,) should be referred by us jointly to an agreed mediator with a view to our achieving resolution in mutually acceptable terms.

We put this to you for two reasons. In the first place because we believe that mediation is the most efficient way forward for both of us. Secondly, we believe that mediation offers a less adversarial environment than the litigation towards which we are now heading.

Mediation will be conducted on an entirely confidential basis and without prejudice.

We have an open mind as to the choice of mediator, but for basic information, we suggest you refer to https://www.themediator.co.uk/business-mediation/advantages

If we do not hear from you in relation to this open offer within seven days from the date of this letter, we will take it that you reject the offer to mediate. In that event, we shall instruct a solicitor to place the matter in court. In that case we shall feel free to produce this letter to the court in the context of an application for a stay of proceedings or, at a later stage in connection with costs. As the law presently stands, a refusal to mediate is a ground for the court to order costs against the party refusing, regardless of the outcome of the proceedings.

If you accept that our dispute should be referred to mediation, we are ready to discuss the selection of the mediator and the administrative requirements immediately.

To avoid any possibility of misunderstanding with regard to this proposal, should the case come to court, we set out brief details of our dispute as follows:

Outline of the dispute

[Very short description of the dispute with sufficient detail for it to be clear as to the content and context]

We look forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully / Yours sincerely,


Message 04

Divorce, separation or comparable relationship: any circumstances.

It is difficult for us to be prescriptive where this is your relationship. We therefore assume you will wish to edit this letter/message as you decide.


Heading: Let’s go to mediation

Dear / Hello [appropriate name]

Let’s face it, we’re not negotiating. We are just arguing. I think it’s time we tried something different. I’ve been looking at mediation. I found a site with a lot of information. It covers mediation about all sorts of stuff but I get it that actually doing the mediation is not really different for us then if we were arguing about our entitlement under Granny’s will.

This mediator seems to be more about money than our house and children but let’s face it, it’s the money that we are arguing about. Have a look at www.themediator.co.uk/family-mediation/mediating-family-disputes.

I spoke to the guy who does the mediating and as far as I am concerned, he is OK. You can pick his number up of the website, as above, or ring him on 07907964565.

If you want to choose another mediator, just tell me who and why. Please make sure it is not someone recommended by your solicitor.

[Your usual signature]


Message 05

From The Mediator to conflict-party: dispute about business or anything else except divorce/separation:.


Heading: Dispute between yourself and [1st conflict-party]

Dear [formal address]

[first conflict-party first name + last name] rang me yesterday to enquire about the possibility of my acting for the two of you as mediator in your dispute. Our very short discussion was limited to how mediation works, whether it is likely that I would be able to help, and how you and he should start the process if you are agreeable.

I’m sure you will want more information about the mediation process and why you should use it. A good start is my website page https://www.themediator.co.uk/business-mediation/advantages-disadvantages.

Information most people want next and where to find it is:

Prices        https://www.themediator.co.uk/arrange-mediation/prices

Time you need    https://www.themediator.co.uk/arrange-mediation/time-needed-business

Who I am        https://www.themediator.co.uk/why-use-mediator

Getting started is very simple. Once the conflict-parties have agreed to mediate, go to our registration form at https://www.themediator.co.uk/arrange-mediation/request-mediate. That includes a request for very basic information about your dispute. We do not need a lot at this stage – just enough for me to be able to ring you to answer your questions and tell you a bit more about the mediation process. By this time you will probably have looked at a few more pages and will be wanting more detail.

After we got a few procedural points out of the way, the main mediation process takes place at a meeting. There is universal agreement that the best way of doing this is face-to-face, around a table. However, over the last 20 years there has been a gigantic increase in online mediation. That is sufficiently well developed for pretty much all mediation now to have moved online as a result of Covid-19. So you can take your choice.

I had the bug in March so I’m very happy to deal face-to-face. As it happens, my website was set up long ago to deal with online mediation too. It’s therefore up to the two parties to decide what you want.

I hope you will give me the opportunity to help you. I’m sure I can.

When you are ready to move forward you can give me brief details of your dispute at https://www.themediator.co.uk/arrange-mediation/request-mediate .

I look forward to hearing from you in due course.

Yours sincerely,

Andrew R Taylor


Message 06

Dispute about business or anything else except divorce/separation: from The Mediator to conflict-party's solicitor


Dear [formal name]

Your client:        Failsto Seelight

Conflict-party:    Shesalways Reasonable

[Conflict-party name] tells me she would like to resolve her dispute with your client through mediation. She has asked me to contact you to enquire as to whether your client will accept this proposal.

OR

[Conflict-party name] tells me she is in dispute with your client and that the Court has recommended mediation. I have explained a little about the process. She has now asked me to contact you to enquire as to whether your client would like to investigate my website at www.themediator.co.uk.

I’m sure you will want more information about my mediation practice. A good start is my website page https://www.themediator.co.uk/business-mediation/advantages-disadvantages.

Information most people want next and where to find it is:

Prices        https://www.themediator.co.uk/arrange-mediation/prices

Time you need    https://www.themediator.co.uk/arrange-mediation/time-needed-business

Who I am        https://www.themediator.co.uk/why-use-mediator

Of course, I should be happy to speak to you and your client on the phone, if either of you would like further information.

Should your client agree to mediation, I should be grateful if you could make clear from the outset that my role should not be confused with yours. Specifically, I or my assistant will be very happy to discuss with your client any aspect of the time the disputants might need, fixing a date and anything else relating to procedure.

Today, almost all mediation meetings are online for obvious reasons. However, I am 100% confident that I have been through it - lightweight version - early in March, so if the participants prefer to sit around a table, then a face-to-face meeting is fine by me. Of course, I'm very happy to comply with any safety precautions you or the participants would like to take. Alternatively, as you will see from my website, I am well set up for online mediation.

If you think your client’s case is comparatively straightforward, the best way forward may well be telephone mediation. That saves the participants having to check on how to operate Microsoft Teams or Zoom.

Your involvement in a telephone mediation is entirely a matter between you and your client. I would expect to make certain that your client was absolutely happy with the process, but if he asks you to talk to me at any point, then that is fine too. Of course it's also fine for a telephone mediation to be conducted via your office, where your client can sit with you and take your advice as often as needed.

I have a welcome letter for solicitors at https://www.themediator.co.uk/about-mediation/solicitors-welcome-letter

Of course you will be aware that established case law provides that a winning litigant will be denied costs area if he refused to partake honestly in a process of mediation.

I prefer to correspond using first names, but that is subject to your choice to the contrary.

Whatever your client’s choice, I shall be very grateful if you would let me know as soon as possible.

Yours sincerely,

Andrew Taylor


Message 07

From The Mediator to conflict-party: divorce, separation


Heading         Your separation: financial affairs: mediation

Dear [formal address]

[first conflict-party first name + last name] rang me yesterday to enquire about the possibility of my acting for the two of you as mediator in your dispute. Our very short discussion was limited to how mediation works, whether it is likely that I would be able to help, and how you and she/he should start the process if you are agreeable.

I’m sure you will want more information about the mediation process and why you should use it. A good start is my website page https://www.themediator.co.uk/business-mediation/advantages-disadvantages.

Information most people want next and where to find it is:

Prices        https://www.themediator.co.uk/arrange-mediation/prices

Time you need    https://www.themediator.co.uk/arrange-mediation/time-needed-business

Who I am        https://www.themediator.co.uk/why-use-mediator

In a divorce or separation situation, many participants prefer to move forward with two or three short meetings over a couple of weeks rather than setting aside an exhausting day with little opportunity to consult your solicitor or find financial information which may be essential to good settlement. Of course, that is no problem to me.

Getting started is very simple. Once the conflict-parties have agreed to mediate, go to our registration form at https://www.themediator.co.uk/arrange-mediation/request-mediate. That includes a request for very basic information about your dispute. We do not need a lot at this stage – just enough for me to be able to ring you to answer your questions and tell you a bit more about the mediation process. By this time you will probably have looked at a few more pages and will be wanting more detail.

As to procedure: there are a few simple but important steps to get out of the way. After that, the main mediation process takes place at a meeting. There is universal agreement that the best way of doing this is face-to-face, around a table. However, over the last 20 years there has been a gigantic increase in online mediation. That is sufficiently well developed for pretty much all mediation now to have moved online as a result of Covid-19. So you can take your choice.

I had the bug in March so I’m very happy to deal face-to-face. As it happens, my website was set up long ago to deal with online mediation too. It’s therefore up to the two parties to decide what you want.

I hope you will give me the opportunity to help you. I’m sure I can.

When you are ready to move forward, both of you can give me brief details of your dispute at https://www.themediator.co.uk/arrange-mediation/request-mediate. You need to do that before we can give you access to my mediation diary to fix a suitable date and time.

Please don’t hesitate to give me a ring at any time or email my assistant, Muniba – action@themediator.co.uk

I look forward to hearing from you in due course.

Yours sincerely,

Andrew R Taylor


Message 08

From The Mediator to conflict-party's solicitor: divorce, separation


Dear [formal name]

Referral to mediation

Good morning Ms [name],

Your client:        Failsto Seelight

Conflict-party:    Shesalways Reasonable

[Conflict-party name] tells me she would like to resolve her dispute with your client through mediation. She has asked me to contact you to enquire as to whether your client will accept this proposal.

OR

[Conflict-party name] tells me she is in dispute with your client and that the Court has recommended mediation. I have explained a little about the process. She has now asked me to contact you to enquire as to whether your client would like to investigate my website at www.themediator.co.uk.

Furthermore, I should be happy to speak to you and your client on the phone, if either of you would like further information.

Should your client agree to mediation, I should be grateful if you could make clear from the outset that my role should not be confused with yours. Specifically, I or my assistant will be very happy to discuss with your client any aspect of the time the disputants might need, fixing a date and anything else relating to procedure.

Today, almost all mediation meetings are online for obvious reasons. However, I am 100% confident that I have been through it - lightweight version - early in March, so if the participants prefer to sit around a table, then a face-to-face meeting is fine by me.

Although I am absolutely unconcerned as to my own safety, of course I'm very happy to comply with any safety precautions you or the participants would like to take. Alternatively, as you will see from my website, I am well set up for online mediation.

By the way, it does appear to me that this case is comparatively straightforward. Covid or no, the best way forward may well be telephone mediation. That saves the participants having to check on how to operate Microsoft Teams or Zoom.

Your involvement in a telephone mediation is entirely a matter between you and your client. I would expect to make certain that your client was absolutely happy with the process, but if he asks you to talk to me at any point, then that is fine too. Of course it's also fine for a telephone mediation to be conducted via your office, where your client can sit with you and take your advice as often as needed.

I have a welcome letter for solicitors at https://www.themediator.co.uk/about-mediation/solicitors-welcome-letter

Of course you will be aware that established case law provides that a winning litigant will be denied costs area if he refused to partake honestly in a process of mediation.

I prefer to correspond using first names, but that is subject to your choice to the contrary.

Yours sincerely,

Andrew Taylor