Mediation for personal disputes

Mediation is not just about sorting out disputes between two businesses. Disputes also arise every day in various areas of your personal life. Mediation is almost always the best way to resolve apparently intractable situations. There are so many advantages of mediation.

This page touches on just a few of the areas where the Mediator would be delighted to help you.

You might also like to learn more about the Mediator’s attitude and our process so far as it relates to personal affairs.

Apart from your business affairs, we can help you to resolve disputes in connection with:

• Your family business – directors, shareholders, management
• Wills, inheritance, trusts and probate
• Loans and debts
• Employment claims
• Easements, covenants, rights over land, boundaries, neighbour disputes
• Personal injury claims and professional negligence
• Small money claims
• Equestrianism, farming and the countryside

For general information relating to the above subjects please follow “Business Mediation”.

Your family company

Often the backbone of a family’s wealth, the time comes when important decisions must be made as to the direction of the company, strategy, management, share ownership and power in the round.

As you will see from the Mediator’s CV this is another area where he has special interest and very broad experience.

It is very easy to categorise issues but it is neither possible nor helpful to put your problems into a pigeonhole. Your mediator has to be able to assess personalities and relationship dynamics in a way that does not apply in any other type of mediation. There is no textbook solution to your particular problems.

Particular differences between mediation in the family company on the one hand and most other business disputes on the other hand is that family situations are complicated by the dynamics of the relationships and the fact that there will be multiple parties involved in the conflict. Each person has his own interest to protect. Some will be well able to protect their interest; others may need help. Allegiances will certainly be different – and often unexpected.

The Mediator’s approach

It is often difficult in this situation for the mediator to obtain precise instructions. He would usually look to the managing director or chief executive officer as a starting point but would expect to change what is required as the mediation process unfolded. For example it may be necessary to explain technical solutions within the framework of the Companies Act, or to explain proposals at a general meeting, or to adjourn the proceedings for a few days while someone takes advice from his solicitor.

After talking to one of the most senior people the mediator should then move to others who are closely involved, gradually building up a picture of relationships, interests and comparative power. The mediator will continue with that process until he is happy that he has sufficient information and psychological understanding of the different elements of the dispute.

If you so wish, the mediator will also be able to discuss your problems with some other trusted third-party such as your accountant.

From that point, the mediator is looking at solutions and testing them against what each of the main participants would like to see.

Wills, trusts, probate, inheritance

The confidentiality inherent in the mediation process is particularly useful in this area.

The argument could be between two or more family members or, more often, it is between family members on the one hand and someone who is not part of the family on the other hand. The fact is, that money is desperately important to every one of us. While some people may signal their virtue by claiming that money does not buy happiness, it is also true that we cannot be happy unless we are able to obtain what society regards as the basic essentials for a reasonably happy life.

Litigation relating to probate, the construction of a will, and similar issues often has to be heard in the High Court and not in the local County Court. Today (2020) you cannot blink in the High Court for less than £100,000. In contrast, you can settle even in quite a complicated dispute through mediation for less than £5000.

There are additional and particular benefits to mediation in this area of our lives, as follows:

• the level of secrecy required in your personal affairs can be increased by arranging for mediation to be conducted in a private venue, such as your home;
• time is less pressing. It is unlikely that someone’s life will be on hold as it would be for example in a divorce or separation dispute. That means a mediation session can be adjourned so that progress can be considered and others consulted before resuming;
• at least some of the mediation process could take place at a distance. On this website, we also offer online mediation services. The online process has advantages of its own.

Family loan agreements

Many disputes arise from a loan agreement within the family. Problems start from day one when the fact of the family relationship influences the lender to make a loan on conditions far softer than he would, had his borrower been an arms length third-party. In other words your cousin or your nephew gets a better deal than someone introduced to you by your butcher or bookmaker.

Because it is seen as inappropriate to enter into an agreement which properly protects the lender, many family loans are based on word-of-mouth or very simple documents, often a letter or an email message.

As a result, as the years go by, memories drift and each party tends to recall those points which best benefit his position. The creditor remembers the certainty of promises to repay whilst the debtor remembers the casual flexibility offered by the lender.

Differences are likely to emerge when the personal circumstances of one of the parties changes unavoidably. Marriage, divorce, business failure, loss of job, the arrival of children, and many unforeseen events cause problems. Such problems can be resolved through mediation.

In many cases the family dispute it turns out that both parties are willing and determined to find a resolution but dare not speak out to the other of them. The mere presence of the mediator to lead a meeting and open up alternative proposals, can often lead to a quick settlement.

Employment disputes

We are still considering your personal affairs – but not family affairs. This paragraph relates to your employment. The judgements of employment tribunals are less consistent and often less logical than the decision of a judge. Employment disputes therefore cry out for mediation.

For both the employer and the employee, mediation offers great advantages. The fact is that you may be able to negotiate benefits that are outside the scope of what an employment tribunal could order. You will probably be interested not merely in compensation but in preserving your reputation, obtaining a good reference, possibly continuing your present employment, and of course, getting on with your life.

Most importantly, however serious your dispute is, mediation will leave your relationship with your employer less acrimonious that it would be after a tribunal claim. It is possible that, even if you take new employment elsewhere, your paths will cross again.

The venue

Most employment law mediations take place on the premises on the employer. That might not be possible if the company does not have a totally private space. The employee may also feel insecure on the company’s premises, preferring an entirely neutral location. Apart from that, considerations are: distance and travel time, travel cost and hire of rooms. Here are some useful suggestions.

Please note that the mediator is not in a position to advise you in connection with a prospective claim. You may well need legal advice. Your best starting point may be www.acas.org.uk .

If you are also a director of the company which employs you, there are additional considerations for both sides. The most important is confidentiality. The bottom line is that mediation is absolutely confidential. It is not just a question of the world not knowing. In a family company situation, it is also a question of the relatives and wider family not knowing.

For deeper information about disputes between directors or partners, look at “Boardroom and partnership disputes”.

For more on other employment, see “Employment disputes”.

Easements, covenants, rights over land, boundaries, neighbour disputes

This is an area where the Mediator has particular experience acquired over many years variously ,as a house owner, in construction, in office and residential development, in planning issues, in litigation over many different rights over land. Learn more information about how The Mediator deals with such issues.

Personal injury, clinical negligence, and all other professional negligence

Every professional takes out insurance against the risk of negligence. It follows that when you make a claim, you are not dealing with the professional person but with his insurer. However, many exceptions arise for different reasons. Examples are: